Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Goodbye Meat
If you haven't checked out the book Skinny Bitch, you should. While I don't ever see myself not drinking beer again or even going vegan at this point, the chapter on factory farms convinced me I will never eat meat that I know has come from a factory farm ever again. I love animals, even the ugly, smelly ones. I don't think I could ever look Buddy in the eyes again if I ate meat that I know came from one of those torture chambers. Even if you don't care about animal rights, those places are not sanitary....at all. You might as well wipe your steak all over the men's room floor and plate it up. And people say that you can cook it to a temperature to kill all the bacteria. Ok, imagine this then. Wipe your steak all over the bathroom floor, throw it on the grill and then eat it. Because it's about the same thing. Off to do more research!
Friday, December 16, 2011
Deja Vu is that you?
Sooo, I totally forgot about this blog until my friend Mr. Ryan Nolan reminded me of it. Some of my favorite highlights while reminiscing are reviewing the McRib and giving it two forks up and proclamining I love cheese so much I hope I die in a fondue accident.
Glad to see that while my life circumstances have changed drastically since I first started this ode of food blog, my obsession with food has not changed. Neither has my quitting/re-joining of weight watchers. Geez. I bet somewhere at the WW headquarters there is a plaque with my name on it under "Most Likely to Quit and Rejoin A Month Later". I'm sure I have put the CEOs children through college or helped them purchase a lovely vacation home in the Caribbean.
Here I go again, publicly sharing my struggle to lose weight and attempting to silence the voice of a chronic fat kid. This time I'm motivated by the wedding dress that is already ordered and hopefully will fit. I had to order the largest regular size they had or pay more money for a plus size. Fuck you David's Bridal. You will not win this game.
More to come.....
Glad to see that while my life circumstances have changed drastically since I first started this ode of food blog, my obsession with food has not changed. Neither has my quitting/re-joining of weight watchers. Geez. I bet somewhere at the WW headquarters there is a plaque with my name on it under "Most Likely to Quit and Rejoin A Month Later". I'm sure I have put the CEOs children through college or helped them purchase a lovely vacation home in the Caribbean.
Here I go again, publicly sharing my struggle to lose weight and attempting to silence the voice of a chronic fat kid. This time I'm motivated by the wedding dress that is already ordered and hopefully will fit. I had to order the largest regular size they had or pay more money for a plus size. Fuck you David's Bridal. You will not win this game.
More to come.....
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Dreams
I remember going to Downtown Chicago to a "hip" club once. At this club, they had girls dancing on elevated boxes wearing boy cut underwear and push-up bras. I want to be that girl. I want to be the girl that the club pays to dance on top of a box. The girl that makes other girls gossip about her, and say things like "She's a ho" or "I bet she's dumber than a box of rocks" because they really are jealous. Yes, I do believe I want to be that girl.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Wow...it's been awhile
I haven't blogged in a minute or 2 huh? Not much has changed.....I'm still back and forth on weight watchers like it's my job. However, I currently have no gym to call home so I'm calling home my gym. I've flipped it old school and did a Tae-bo video this week. Billy really need not wear the spandex. Too much, too much. Also, why don't those girls have their hair pulled back in a pony tail? They need to get some real people working out on those tapes. Show me a chubby girl with a red face and a nice swass stain....
Monday, September 14, 2009
Too much?
Maybe I'm having a case of the Mondays but I am feeling slightly overwhelmed right now. I think I officially live a life of excess and need to simplify things. I eat too much, drink too much, bitch too much, smoke too much, spend too much, worry too much and the list goes on. How to simplify my life? As I am a chronic yo-yo dieter I thought to myself this morning I should quit smoking and start dieting again. The panic this thought caused, made me immediately run to Casey's for another pack of smokes and while waiting in line my mouth began to water as I dreamed of a gondola with doritos on top.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
From an e-mail making it's rounds.....
RANDOM THOUGHTS…..
-I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
-More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can
think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell
my own story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves
me.
-Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you
realize you're wrong.
-I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to
have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and
sticks when they've invented the lighter?
-Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're
going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to
be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the
direction from which you came, you have to first do something like
check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to
yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're
crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
-That's enough, Nickelback.
-I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
-The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This
recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never
be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.
-Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't
work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically
fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all
know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards
or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.
-There is a great need for sarcasm font.
-Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and
suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first
saw it.
-I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually
becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting
90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's
laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little
bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the
only one who really, really gets it.
-How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
-I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than
take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
-I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
-The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.
-A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.
-Was learning cursive really necessary?
-LOL has gone from meaning ‘laugh out loud’ to ‘I have nothing else to say’.
-I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
-Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron
test is absolutely petrifying.
-My brother's Municipal League baseball team is named the Stepdads.
Seeing as none of the guys on the team are actual stepdads, I inquired
about the name. He explained, "Cuz we beat you, and you hate us."
Classy, bro.
-Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all
I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".
-How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod
and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
-I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up
to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
-What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?
-While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and
instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.
-MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I
know how to get out of my neighborhood.
-Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
-I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the
shower first and THEN turn on the water.
-Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty,
and you can wear them forever.
-Bad decisions make good stories
-Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their
profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got
the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if
I do!
-If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would
probably just be completely invisible.
-Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name
And where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? I know my name, I know where
I’m from- this shouldn’t be a problem…
-You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you’ve made
Up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
-Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't
want to have to restart my collection.
-There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
-I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me
if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I
swear I did not make any changes to.
-I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching
TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge
me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren’t watching
this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the
room. Will we still be friends after this?'
-While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally for China and USA. No, I am not of
Chinese descent, but I am fairly certain that when Chinese athletes don’t win, they are executed.
-I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?
Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and
goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone
and run away?
-I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing
anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
-When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she
hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light
internet stalking.
-I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle,
then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
-Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising
speed for pedophiles...
-As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers,
but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
-Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not
know what time it is.
-It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.
-I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to
answer when they call.
-I think that if, years down the road when I’m trying to have a kid, I
find out that I’m sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from
th e fact that I was not aware of my condition in college.
-My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would
happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?
-It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the
link takes me to a video instead of text.
-I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they
drive behind obeys the speed limit.
-I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
-I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or
Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.
-The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw
they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words,
someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think
about it, and20then estimate d that there must be at least four people
eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by
myself. There’s nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard
before dinner.
-I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
-More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can
think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell
my own story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves
me.
-Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you
realize you're wrong.
-I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to
have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and
sticks when they've invented the lighter?
-Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're
going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to
be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the
direction from which you came, you have to first do something like
check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to
yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're
crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
-That's enough, Nickelback.
-I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
-The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This
recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never
be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.
-Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't
work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically
fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all
know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards
or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.
-There is a great need for sarcasm font.
-Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and
suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first
saw it.
-I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually
becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting
90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's
laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little
bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the
only one who really, really gets it.
-How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
-I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than
take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
-I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
-The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.
-A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.
-Was learning cursive really necessary?
-LOL has gone from meaning ‘laugh out loud’ to ‘I have nothing else to say’.
-I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
-Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron
test is absolutely petrifying.
-My brother's Municipal League baseball team is named the Stepdads.
Seeing as none of the guys on the team are actual stepdads, I inquired
about the name. He explained, "Cuz we beat you, and you hate us."
Classy, bro.
-Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all
I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".
-How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod
and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
-I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up
to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
-What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?
-While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and
instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.
-MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I
know how to get out of my neighborhood.
-Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
-I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the
shower first and THEN turn on the water.
-Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty,
and you can wear them forever.
-Bad decisions make good stories
-Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their
profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got
the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if
I do!
-If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would
probably just be completely invisible.
-Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name
And where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? I know my name, I know where
I’m from- this shouldn’t be a problem…
-You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you’ve made
Up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
-Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't
want to have to restart my collection.
-There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
-I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me
if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I
swear I did not make any changes to.
-I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching
TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge
me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren’t watching
this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the
room. Will we still be friends after this?'
-While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally for China and USA. No, I am not of
Chinese descent, but I am fairly certain that when Chinese athletes don’t win, they are executed.
-I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?
Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and
goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone
and run away?
-I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing
anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
-When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she
hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light
internet stalking.
-I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle,
then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
-Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising
speed for pedophiles...
-As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers,
but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
-Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not
know what time it is.
-It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.
-I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to
answer when they call.
-I think that if, years down the road when I’m trying to have a kid, I
find out that I’m sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from
th e fact that I was not aware of my condition in college.
-My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would
happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?
-It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the
link takes me to a video instead of text.
-I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they
drive behind obeys the speed limit.
-I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
-I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or
Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.
-The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw
they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words,
someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think
about it, and20then estimate d that there must be at least four people
eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by
myself. There’s nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard
before dinner.
The Randomness That Is My Life
I started this blog to talk about all things food. But lately nothing foody has made me passionate so I'm changing the theme of the blog slightly. I will now be talking about all things I find in life that appeal to me. Randomness that is my mom Judy, food, work woes, reposts from other people and other randomness that is my life. I have a feeling no one even reads this anymore since I haven't updated it in almost 2 months....but thought an explanation might be necessary.
For my first post with the new theme I am sharing my own random thoughts/stories:
-My mom wants to set me up with a one-legged, motivational speaker.
-I once surprised a boyfriend whom I had just reconciled with repeatedly, by taking him to Myrtle Beach for 24 hours for Valentine's Day to prove to him I was really committed this time. I broke up with him on the plane ride home.
-I asked a guy I was recently "talking to" what kind of music he was in to. He said he wasn't really into music. We never saw each other again.
More to come.....
For my first post with the new theme I am sharing my own random thoughts/stories:
-My mom wants to set me up with a one-legged, motivational speaker.
-I once surprised a boyfriend whom I had just reconciled with repeatedly, by taking him to Myrtle Beach for 24 hours for Valentine's Day to prove to him I was really committed this time. I broke up with him on the plane ride home.
-I asked a guy I was recently "talking to" what kind of music he was in to. He said he wasn't really into music. We never saw each other again.
More to come.....
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