You are fat, not handicapped.

Background information, I take a guy named Ed out to do things like plays, movies, music events, etc. Ed is an elderly gentlemen who had a rock climbing accident in his 20s causing a brain injury which effects his speech and short term memory. He also has mobility issues and uses a wheelchair for most outings. This is also a good time to note the benefits of helmet use.

Ed wanted to go to an ISU basketball game yesterday. We got there a few minutes before the game began and found our section. Now, even though our tickets had a section, row and seat number, there was no room for us. The handicapped section is basically an open spot at the top of a lower bowl area where those in wheelchairs or who have a handicap sit in red chairs (I assume this includes anyone who could not maneuver stairs). There were about 20 people in this section, Ed was the only one in a wheelchair. There is no way all these folks were handicapped. There were some oldies but the majority of them were just fatties. Now, I didn't care if I could not sit with him as long as there was a spot for him where he could see the game. I asked the usher if there was another handicapped section and he said no but he'd get me a chair. Umm, that doesn't fix the problem. The 16 year old kid with an awesome seat who was very much not handicap should have moved. Eventually someone noticed our plight and gave up their seat which was really nice. What is wrong with some people. Just because you chose to ate yourself wider than the regular seat available at the game doesn't mean you should get preference over the guy who is actually in a wheelchair you selfish asshole. You are fat, not handicapped. Maybe if you played more basketball instead of watching it with a giant bucket of popcorn polished off with a platter of nachos there would be better seats for my friend Ed. Today is a holiday so ISU is closed, but someone at ISU will be getting a call tomorrow.

Why so serious?

I have been told by people that they were afraid of me in high school. I didn't slam people into lockers so I wondered why this was. Turns out, I always "looked" mad. Yes, my natural expression is a frown. Now, it didn't occur to me until yesterday why this was the case. I have really chubby cheeks. Like REAL chubby. Do you know how much work it takes to smile and hoist those bad boys up? Maybe that is why people are always saying fat people just plain look unhappy. All that weight from their cheeks is causing a natural frown. Seriously, right now as you are reading this do a big ole teeth bearing smile...I'll wait, do it. Now, if you have chubby cheeks that took a lot out of you huh? I would like you to spend the next week observing people's natural expressions....the fatties are all frowning aren't they?! Please report back with findings.

Daily Rant

My Chase rewards card has a catalog of things you can earn once you've collected enough points. I have now earned enough for a $50 Spa Finder giftcard. I went to Spa Finder's website and the only spa in the area that was listed was Contours Day Spa. I called them just to make sure they did accept them before I ordered it. The woman said they did in fact accept them but they lose money on them so it would be better for them if I just got a gift certificate through their website (I already told her I was buying the Spa Finder one with rewards points, not money, why would I want to spend money on their site when I can get a $50 Spa Finder card for free?). If they don't like accepting Spa Finder giftcards, why don't they stop accepting them instead of complaining about it to potential clients? That made 0 sense to me. I think I will just pony up the money to get myself a massage somewhere else and pick out another item from the rewards catalog. Awesome way to lose business Contours!

I did it!

Yesterday after Bootcamp class, it was official, I made it to all 5 classes I signed up for last week. There was a close call on Thursday where I almost missed kickboxing due to the inability to move everything below my waist, (and wanting to drink) but I miraculously made it through. I'm proud today. Also, if I make it through today, this will be the first time in I don't know how long that I will have stayed totally within my points limits for the week. Normally I blow it during the weekend, but not this week. Now, let's just hope the scale rewards my hard work tomorrow. I should probably get the dream of losing 15 lbs in one week like they do in Biggest Loser out of my head though.

E-Mail to Taylor Cottone dated 1/8/09

Bootcamp was terrible, which I guess means it was a good workout. We did squats forever. My butt hurts today. I couldn't keep up with all the core work which didn't surprise me but it was disheartening to see the 40 and 50 somethings holding their planks and me laying on my mat panting for breath.

Notes from 2009

Welcome to the New Year everyone. I have decided not to make any New Year's resolutions as that is the quickest way for me to ensure they do not happen. Something about the pressure--I crack. I have decided that I will try to work on being nicer to myself. I will try not to be so judgmental towards my body and be more forgiving when I don't succeed at weight watchers, etc. I have come to the realization though, I am getting older. Now would be the time of my life to have a banging body. I don't want to be 50 and realize that I'm in the best shape of my life. I want to be 50 and look back and want to give a limb for my 20 something body. I better be careful what I wish for, maybe it will be far worse in my 50s and I will give a limb for this body. Got to love perspective.

So anyways, I have signed up for my 4 Seasons classes this "term". I am taking one spin, 2 boot camp and 2 cardio kick. Last night was my first class. Spinning with Jerry. I love Jerry. He's like an ex-hippie who loves techno. Spinning was good but I'm afraid my vagina is now numb and my butt is sore from sitting for 40 minutes on a seat that is designed for a 4 year old. Perhaps I should look into some padded biker shorts OR work on decreasing the mass of flesh known as my ass. It's good to have goals.